My Not So Free Time
One minute, I’m adjusting to this new year and suddenly, we’re on its second month. Wow! Consider this entry an end of the month… check up or something.
My final exams are coming up and I’m currently working on one too many long projects at the same time. With all the work I have to do, it’s ironic how I have so much free time. Maybe I was forced to come up with a super – stress – survival system, complete with daily, weekly and monthly check lists? Maybe my control – freak self exists and makes all those attempts at organization so that my real – life – beats – school self has time for everything she… or I wanna do? Or maybe, I’m tired and uninspired… and lazy? Bingo!
Whatever the case, I have a sort of love – hate relationship with my current schedule. It involves a lot of drawing, thinking, singing, video – editing, reading, jogging, charity work and – strange as this may sound – snow. I’m enjoying a lot though. There are moments when I’m super stressing out over a project but, also other moments when I’m super into a book (can you believe it!?) Oh, also involves a lot of free time I don’t know how to deal with. There’s a feeling of guilt every time I rest or do anything else of that sort, that has no relation to anything that’s required, or academic, or… you get my point. Meaning, yes, Guilt is screaming at me in my head right now. Says I gotta start working on some of the projects that are due at the end of the month.
(Hmmm. Guess this free time isn’t free after all. I’m gonna pay for it eventually.)
Well, anyway. On with the check up!
Here’s one of my highlights of the past month: I got my driver’s license! My photo is horrible but, that’s the least of my problems. Those eight long hours at the LTO were worth it. It’s a pretty great feeling but the next step is to earn the trust of my parents and convince them to allow me to drive on my own. Woohooooo! That’s one step closer to ultimate independence!
Now for another accomplishment under January…
I finished the book Left Behind and my gosh, it was a pretty good one. It’s categorized under Christian Fiction and that makes it extremely heart pounding and thought provoking. On my 2013 goals list, it says I have to read 5 books. Forgive me, I’m really not much of a reader. However, I might just increase that to, I don’t know, one book a month? Because suddenly, I think it’s possible! Since right after reading this one, I rushed right into starting the sequel!
Honestly, I was expecting the first book to have a solid ending. Little did I know that it was a series with more than 5 books, if I’m not mistaken! I was seriously annoyed… until I found the third book in my sister’s closet. I was actually about to skip the second book since, I was dying to know what would happen next. Then, out of the blue, my brother told me he had just bought the second book. Such a great coincidence!
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Today, I overslept. My dad dropped me off at 8:00… for my 7AM class and I entered to find that our professor didn’t show up. The only time I was late for his class was the only time he didn’t make it. I LOVE LIFE. After that, two other very draining classes followed. Over lunch, my blockmates and I were able to write a big part of the Filipino song we’re supposed to compose and make a music video for and after days and days of being stuck, that’s a lot to be grateful for. Unfortunately, the next few hours were spent totally confused and so tired from trying to, well, un-confuse myself, to absolutely no avail.
I will not draw the floor plan and elevation and perspectives of the London Olympic Aquatic Center.
I will not force myself to finish the Filipino song.
I will not plan out the music video for it either.
I will not conceptualize my Police Precinct for Design class.
And I will not do my math homework.
Tonight, I’m going to read The Tribulation Force until I fall asleep.
And I will try my very, very best not to feel guilty about it.