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Thoughts on Valentines Day. And Pride.

February 19, 2012

(Disclaimer: Brace yourselves. It’s yet another pride thing. )

I never thought I would care about the most commercialized day to celebrate love.  I love love but, I don’t like what society has made people perceive it as.

What’s with all the fuss about Valentines Day?

The whole idea of it turned love into a bouquet of roses that’ll eventually die. Either that, or a stuffed teddy bear that’ll soon just take up space and gather dust. Forgive me, I was never really a fan of those no – brainer gestures but, I understand those who are. Really. But, however sweet they may be to some women, they discourage men from actually taking the time to think of what would make their girls happy. It’s always the first answer when one thinks of what to get a girl. But, I guess it’s a test of how well you know her. If she’s the type who’d like flowers, then so be it. But, if a bag of chips would do the trick, then there’s no shame in passing by a convenient store to get that for her. Why give in to the pressure, if you know better? There’s really nothing wrong with flowers but the point is, it doesn’t have to be flowers. It’s the thought that counts. So, “thought” over flowers. Always.

That’s one thing I never wanted to get involved with. The cheesiness of it all. I used to make fun of the women who would get bombarded with enormous, red… fluffy… things on that day. Well, truth be told, sometimes, I still do. With mixed emotions, I ask myself again and again, what is with all the fuss about Valentines day? Why create one specific day to celebrate love, when it should be celebrated on every other day? All these things cause so much pressure. Unnecessary pressure.

(Please read this next paragraph slowly and carefully.)

Well, that’s what I always thought. In all honesty, that’s what I thought I still thought. And during those times when your emotions oppose the thoughts you think you think… you struggle. It’s quite complicated. In fact, there’s a whole other blog dedicated to the complexities of women. (Click here to read.) It’s that complicated. But yes, some struggle. For some women, valentines day… is  a struggle. But, it’s not as if they want it to be. Who wouldn’t want their loved ones to feel loved, right? 

Now, please bear with me as I try to explain that struggle.

Well, first, there’s definitely more pressure on the men. It’s as if the world demands that they do something special for their significant others. If they fail to do so, it comes as such a shocker to most people. It’s as if they’ve sinned against the book of love. Poor guys. In the first place, why are they always required to be the initiators?

Many have tried to answer that question. Well, it could be because of the well – known code of chivalry, or whatever trace of it that’s left in our generation from before. Sometimes, it’s an ego thing. Or it could just be part of the thrill of having a woman to fight for. But, those are just some of the many possible reasons. Another would simply be, well, because society says so. And ironically, that is probably the main reason why, it’s even harder for the women.

It’s a stupid, incomprehensible pride thing!

With that pride watching her like a hawk, she suppresses any part of her that shows even a glimpse of a desire to do what society does not exactly require her to do (that is, in this case, to make that special person feel special on valentines day) Because of that, even the smallest gesture that has the slightest trace of sweetness is the product of a massive internal struggle. 

Once again, it’s the thought that counts. And trust me when I say that with women, there is always a lot of thought. It’s just that, well, sometimes it’s hard to translate those thoughts into grand gestures. 

But, the fact that they try? 

People take one look at those bouquets of roses and claim “Aww, that’s love!” But, sometimes, I wish that society would also consider those little “products of pride struggles” and those (seemingly failed) attempts to make the people they love happy… and realize that that’s love too; that love doesn’t always have to come in the form of cheesy, grand gestures.

I find it kind of funny that as thought provoking as Valentines Day was, it came and went. Like any other day. Because no matter how much grandeur you add to it, it still is just another day. That’s the fact. Everything else is on us.

I doubt I’ll ever fully understand the concepts behind what society expects of men and women and whether or not we should give in to those expectations. So I guess I’m gonna just end here, before I start contradicting myself… as if I haven’t done that enough already.

And there you have it, my clashing views on Valentines Day. Till the next one! 🙂

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