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Day 17 – Your Biggest Insecurity

January 20, 2013

This doesn’t have to be the type of entry that makes you wallow in self – pity for all the things you can’t do. Let me try and talk about it without sounding like I feel bad about myself because, well, I am happy with who I am despite my one billion flaws, all the areas in which I lack and all the improvements I know I can make with myself.

Just saying.

My insecurities sort of sprout from all the things that I can do. Is that normal? When people call me a “good singer” for example, all the flaws and limitations I have as a “singer” enter my head and make it really hard for me to just say thank you. Nonetheless, I swallow all those semi  – negative thoughts, push them at the back of my head, open up my compliment can and say thank you anyway.

Then, I heard about a saying.
“Jack of all trades, master of none.”

There you have it: the story of my life! Insecure doesn’t exactly capture what I feel though. Perhaps the right word is frustrated?  I can sing, yes, but never in my life have I sung a song flawlessly. It’s quite funny, actually. The same goes with a lot of other things.

Too many things.

I love writing but, I’m not a writer. I love art but, I’m no artist. I’ve written songs but, they’re not that good. I can kind of draw. I can play a little bit of guitar. I know a few songs on the piano. Oh, and I sort of own a “business”.

A billion other people probably understand what I mean. However, in high school I learned how important it is to surround yourself with people who are better than you. Not for you to feel terrible about yourself but, to push you to work harder and do more and well, just do better. I don’t know about you but, there’s a feeling of relief when I find out the flaws of someone I once deemed perfect. Nice to know they’re human.

Now, as for all the things we can’t do… They’re probably there for a reason, right? You know those people who boast so much about the things they have or the things they can do? They don’t really have everything. And no one can do everything. Imagine how proud they’d be if they actually could.

I guess we could choose how to feel about this. We could either wallow in self – pity, as I mentioned earlier but, that would just lead to a whole lot of discontent and frustration, which would probably result to extremely unhappy people that get their daily dose of negativity and go through life thinking that there’s nothing more to it. And that would be… horrible. OR we could simply take it all in as it is. Accept, accept. Because hat’s life.

But hey, we should still give ourselves a clap for all the things we can do, right? We may not be the best at it. Heck, we may not even be good at all! But, let’s clap for ourselves anyway. For at least being brave enough to try it out. 🙂

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