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Day 19 – You When You Were Little

January 21, 2013

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That strange kid up there was a pretty big dreamer.
Although I’m not quite sure what she was trying to achieve with that giant Indian headdress.

Wonder what happened to her.
🙂

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Day 17 – Your Biggest Insecurity

January 20, 2013

This doesn’t have to be the type of entry that makes you wallow in self – pity for all the things you can’t do. Let me try and talk about it without sounding like I feel bad about myself because, well, I am happy with who I am despite my one billion flaws, all the areas in which I lack and all the improvements I know I can make with myself.

Just saying.

My insecurities sort of sprout from all the things that I can do. Is that normal? When people call me a “good singer” for example, all the flaws and limitations I have as a “singer” enter my head and make it really hard for me to just say thank you. Nonetheless, I swallow all those semi  – negative thoughts, push them at the back of my head, open up my compliment can and say thank you anyway.

Then, I heard about a saying.
“Jack of all trades, master of none.”

There you have it: the story of my life! Insecure doesn’t exactly capture what I feel though. Perhaps the right word is frustrated?  I can sing, yes, but never in my life have I sung a song flawlessly. It’s quite funny, actually. The same goes with a lot of other things.

Too many things.

I love writing but, I’m not a writer. I love art but, I’m no artist. I’ve written songs but, they’re not that good. I can kind of draw. I can play a little bit of guitar. I know a few songs on the piano. Oh, and I sort of own a “business”.

A billion other people probably understand what I mean. However, in high school I learned how important it is to surround yourself with people who are better than you. Not for you to feel terrible about yourself but, to push you to work harder and do more and well, just do better. I don’t know about you but, there’s a feeling of relief when I find out the flaws of someone I once deemed perfect. Nice to know they’re human.

Now, as for all the things we can’t do… They’re probably there for a reason, right? You know those people who boast so much about the things they have or the things they can do? They don’t really have everything. And no one can do everything. Imagine how proud they’d be if they actually could.

I guess we could choose how to feel about this. We could either wallow in self – pity, as I mentioned earlier but, that would just lead to a whole lot of discontent and frustration, which would probably result to extremely unhappy people that get their daily dose of negativity and go through life thinking that there’s nothing more to it. And that would be… horrible. OR we could simply take it all in as it is. Accept, accept. Because hat’s life.

But hey, we should still give ourselves a clap for all the things we can do, right? We may not be the best at it. Heck, we may not even be good at all! But, let’s clap for ourselves anyway. For at least being brave enough to try it out. 🙂

Day 17 – Something That Has Made a Huge Impact On Your Life Recently

January 19, 2013

Anger

This is a picture of what was inside my head during my design exam a while ago.

This is me, frustrated.
Sorry.

In case you’re wondering,
Yes, I did take the time to make that…” drawing”.

We had four hours to come up with a design.
To write our concept.
To draw the floor plans.
Two elevations.
One cross – section.
One longitudinal section.
One exterior perspective.
One interior perspective.
And a freakin’ diagram of how to put your “portable disaster resilient shelter” together.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Four hours.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anger 2

This is me, super frustrated.

You’d think four hours is a lot of time but, it’s really not.
Not at all.

The first thirty minutes were probably spent making failed attempts to understand what was required.

“A portable what?! Portable?!”

My favorite books came to my mind. Thank God.
The books I’d flip through again and again and again to just admire the designs and the people who came up with them.

But after an hour…
Nothing.

Anger 3

This is me, doodling using my new favorite color, hoping that it would make things… better.
Haha…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I guess this incident is recent enough. It happened only a few hours ago.
Now, as for the huge impact…

This’ll probably pass once I see my friends tonight.
I’m gonna forget feeling horrible about this morning’s exam.

But if anything, it could be a much – needed wake up call.

And now, as much as I hate to admit it, I know what I have to do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

tumblr_luxn1hViBZ1qzjqrio1_1280(Taken from Tumblr)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There.

That’s what I have to do.

 

Day 16 – Someone That Inspires You

January 18, 2013

The first person that entered my head is someone who’s probably gonna get really surprised when she sees this.

Hello, Rachel Halili!

(Super random, I know. Hohoho!)

This girl is one of the most talented people I have ever known in my whole entire life.
(Did I stress that enough?)

That up there is just one of the many, many works of art that she has in her blog/ portfolio.

She’s a digital art master whose eye for design really shows in every single piece. They’re all so well put together and they also manage to be so meaningful and inspirational. It’s some sort of signature output, I think.

Apart from her super ultra talented-ness, it’s her love for life that really, really amazes me. I’ve known this girl forever. (She’s my best friend’s older sister. And my best friend’s like my sister. Which makes her my sister too. Haha!) And ever since, she’s been an art – making, sports – loving, go – for – it, just – do – it, life – is – great, adventure – is – out – there type of person. Now, don’t those types of people just make you wanna live… more?

Which brings me to another girl…

Hello, Leah Halili!

*Note: Rachel took this photo and did the amazing editing!

This is Rachel’s #1 model and my buddy, Leah.

She’s another art – making, sports – loving, go – for – it, just – do – it, life – is – great, adventure – is – out – there type of person. Haha! Like sister, like sister! Except this one is more of the performer. The musical one.

See for yourself at her Soundcloud.

(So many promotions. Haha!)

To cut this portion short. Leah can do everything. Or at least, that’s what I feel.
And that’s what I admire about her.

Both of them, actually.

One day, you’ll see them having a photo shoot in their backyard and that same evening, they’ll probably be downloading good music that no one knows about/ working on some awesome art piece on Adobe Illustrator. The next day, they’ll be driving to UP to play Frisbee or to jog and the morning after that, they need to get up 4:00 for a trek to Mt. Pinatubo!

SEE WHAT I MEAN.
It’s that intense!

These two are amazing. They’ve been super duper big blessings in my life. Every single sleepover/ bonding/ whatever is always the perfect mix of  heart to heart talks, arts and crafts, good movies and midnight snacks. And some other top secret things. Hahaha!

Let me show you the product of one of our sleepovers last 2011:

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Trust me, there is a looooot more where that came from.

It’s always fun with these two.
And I mean, always!

You know those friends you’re so… sure of?

“Lifetime friends. No doubt.”

The people you’ll probably still have sleepovers with when you’re 25…
The people you’ll plan Hong Kong trips with, one day…
The people whom you can imagine being close to your kids…

You know those lifetime friends?

Well, yeah.
These are two of mine. 🙂

Day 15 – Something You Want To Do Before You Die

January 16, 2013

This is one of my favorite things to write about, talk about, dream about and think about: things I want to do. Last year was all about transitioning from being a dreamer to a doer. I wanted to do a lot of new things and some of the changes that took place were:

  1. I met lots of people of so many different backgrounds and lifestyles and… ages.
  2. I started driving and got my license student’s permit.
  3. I started commuting via jeep and LRT/ MRT and honestly… I’m so happy and proud of myself :(( Hahaha.
  4. I learned to cross streets without holding anyone/ anything. (Also proud of this one!)

Those are the things at the top of my head. But, that was last year. This year, I’ve got a similar goal and that is still, to do more… but, I want to do bigger things, I guess? I wanna do the things I want to do before I die. Except maybe, to become a mom and all those other major life things that are unsuitable for my age. And okay fine, maybe a lot of the things below are pretty extreme or too major to be done within the year but, whatever. Allow me to dream a little. Haha!

Some snit bits from The Bucket List:
(Photos taken from Pinterest)

I really just want to fly, somehow. Doing either of the two is probably the closest I’ll ever get!

Ultimate independence! I waaaaaant 🙂

This would be the best thing ever, really. 🙂

Just the voice. I don’t wanna wear their clothes or have their hair. I just wanna be their singing voice. Haha!

I really admire those who can. If I could master one language, this would be it.

At Thailand. One day!

I’m gonna do this the minute my weight/ body mass index hits normal!

Details Ink‘s a pretty good start, I guess! 😛

This one’s a legit dream!

To bake and to cook like a pro… it should be part of every girl’s bucket list.

Working on it! 😀

I’m just seriously excited for my future house…

Hihi. One day… 🙂

So exciting. I can’t imagine who all my friends are gonna marry… scary. Hahaha.

I guess this is a pretty big… thing for me. It’d mean so much. And it’d basically make my whole life worth it.

—————————-

This list could go on and on but, it’s getting pretty late. And tomorrow’s a big day! I’ll get to check one thing off my list… I shall finally get my driver’s license!

Woohoo, adventure awaits. ❤

Day 14 – Someone You Can’t Imagine Your Life Without

January 15, 2013

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This is my brother, Timo.

Strange boy that boy.

me...

This tiny picture says a lot about him:

Naughty.
Mischievous.
Or just eeeeviiiiil.

Haha, kidding.

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He’s my buddy.

It’s been that way forever.
He’s the guy I can be my super duper #strange (i am. #insidejoke) self with.

All the random movie – lines… he gets it all.
The random, all out singing and dancing… yes, dancing.

He’s seen that a billion times.
And he doesn’t laugh AT me.
He laughs WITH me. 

At least, that’s what I like to think.

Hahaha.

He’s the only person in this universe that I can scream at and get mad at.
And that, I believe, is an achievement.

I never get mad.
At anyone.
I don’t really know how.

Except Timo.

(Don’t get me wrong. I love him, he’s the best brother ever. EVER. EVER.)

But, he can get mad at me just the same way.
And he can tell me what he thinks.
And I can tell him what I think.

And then, it’ll be good again within the next 5 minutes.
And I love that about us.

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This is a compilation of photos from our brother – sister bonding at Hong Kong Greenhills. We went on tourist mode just because we felt like it and in case you’re wondering… yes, we were completely aware of how stupid we looked but, nonetheless, it was really fun!

I was thinking about who to choose for this blog. So, as mean as it sounds, I started thinking about how my life would be without certain people… it was pretty hard and sad. But for some, I could really give an answer.

Without ________, I’d be undoubtedly miserable.
Without ________, I’d be forced to be independent.
Without ________, I’d be… happy. (Haha, just kidding!)

But without Timo…?

I really…

Cannot…

Imagine…

A Need for New

January 9, 2013

It’s only the second week of the year and already, I’ve started to feel… something that could be anxiety, maybe? Not sure what this is called. It’s like some supernatural thing that’s either right in front of your face or surrounding you completely. But, you can’t see it. And it’s telling you that you’re stuck. It may be to what you’re doing at the moment or where you are in life or stuck at your current skill level. Or something. Whatever. Stuck.

Out of no where, I feel it. And it’s so familiar… whenever there seems to be no progress? Vague, I know. But, it could be about several things in my life right now.

One, there’s no progress with the (architectural) plate I’m currently working on.

Well, I’m almost done. Really. However, I’ve been almost done for the past week. If it were due today like it originally was, I would have finished it last night but, I didn’t. Because the deadline was moved tomorrow. Or so I thought.

I was working on my last page earlier this evening, until I got a text that said the deadline was extended to Saturday morning. If it were due tomorrow, I would have finished it today. Really. I could have… but, I didn’t.

Shucks. That’s so bad. What’s happening to me…

We’ve been working on this project the entire semester. It’s been on my mind since then and I don’t know, maybe I kind of want to get this over with and have a new project to think about? I can’t quite figure out what I want. But, anyway…

Two, there’s no progress with either of my goals for the year: to get my driver’s license and to get Details Ink. products at a bookstore.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little too hard on myself since, it’s only the 9th day of the year and I have 356  days to get it done…

As much as I hate saying that there’s no time… okay, no. I’m not even gonna continue that sentence. SOON, I WILL MAKE TIME. For both. I gotta live out my Just Do It philosophy from last year! I should at least, start figuring out what I need to do or who I need to talk to. Mhm. Soon, I will make time.

I thought it’d be easier after I’ve done it every week for an entire year, right? But, no… I haven’t really just done anything in a while.

I didn’t do anything super NEW last week. Which was the FIRST week of 2013 so, it should have been really epic but, no… And for this week, I still haven’t done my something new and it’s already Wednesday.

Shucks. That’s so bad. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME…

I’m trying to analyze the feeling.

I know that I’ve never been a fan of routines because, well, I end up feeling like this. Sort of stuck. And kind of bored. But, for the past week, it’s been the normal, monotonous go – to – school – go – home – and – work – on – the – plate – and – then – sleep routine. Nothing that interesting in between. Not that many interesting stories to tell.

Maybe that’s what’s been killing my spirit. OR maybe I’m just running out of cool, new things that are convenient for me to do? Yeah, that could be it. BUT HOW?!?! I have an entire list of things I’ve always wanted to do! Maybe the things that were new to me before have already meshed into what’s normal for me and therefore, have lost the thrill or X – factor or whatever special thing you’d like to call what they once had. So perhaps, I have to step it up a notch and be a little more adventurous when I try things out?

Hmmmmmm.

Or I could be over – thinking right now. I could be overlooking the obvious. Actually, I could have just written a tweet instead of this entire blog… Hm.

Maybe…

I just need to do something really, really, REALLY SUPER DUPER NEW.

The question is…

Like what?!